My first non-car-owning week, and it feels just the same as it did before really.

I had a very quiet week... only worked 2 days, which was nice. It gave me a few days to sort out things with the car and to just chill a bit. Between working and family stuff, I hadn't really had a day to myself for quite a few weeks, so I enjoyed just hanging. Another mess up with our cheques so we freelancers weren't paid, which put a crimp in a few plans, but no point stressing. I've just juggled things to happen later.

The weekend was equally quiet. I took my sister out to dinner on Friday night, to celebrate her good news, workwise. And afterwards we went and watched a variety of local artists perform in an Elliott Smith tribute, which I particularly enjoyed, as I love his music.

Saturday I did my usual walk to the guitar shop for my lesson. It takes me about half an hour... 25 minutes, but I walk pretty slowly. I'm sure once my fitness improves so will the time. It was warm and humid on Saturday so I was rather flushed and sweaty when I walked in... lucky I know I don't have a chance with Cute Music Shop Man (CMSM) otherwise I'd worry that I wasn't making a good impression. But as I don't have a chance, impressions don't really matter I guess. And before anyone out there argues that I'm putting myself down and hey I might have a shot -- I've seen the way his eyes light up when the pretty girls come in to put up their band posters in the shop windows. His eyes certainly don't do that when I walk in. But he is very nice and chatty, and it is nice to talk to someone who is happy to talk about things beyond the superficial. Of course, that just makes him more attractive in my eyes. Enough blathering about CMSM.

I didn't get a chance to chat with CMSM on Saturday anyway, as just as I was finishing my lesson, and thinking about stopping for a bit, he said "hey, your friend just walked in". My friend? My ex. Who had met me in the shop the week before so we could have lunch and a catch up. Bugger. I mean, nice to see him, but not the impression I want to give, that the ex is always hanging around. Because he isn't. He was there to show his mate a guitar he is keen on. He'd completely forgotten I'd be there at around the same time.

It was odd meeting this friend too. They've known each other for years. They met when they acted together. But this was the time the ex was having the affair, so all his friends from that particular time in his life, from that play, all would think of him and her as the couple. I made a point of never meeting those friends because I already felt humiliated about what had happened, let alone meeting all these people who envied M. because he'd managed to snag this beautiful woman, tall, fair, long dark hair, and eyes that hinted at her Chinese grandmother. She really was stunning. I know, I got to watch them act together on stage, knowing full well what was going on between them. Yep, sucker for punishment or what.

But annnnnnyway, that's all in the past, and M. and I can joke now about being the evil Ex's and whatnot, which might seem in bad taste to others but rather amuses us. And this friend seemed nice enough for the 20 minutes or so we walked about and chatted. And then I took myself off to lunch and spent the afternoon people-watching and listening to the new Tex Don and Charlie CD. Mmmmm Tex's voice really does do it for me.

And today I practiced guitar on the steel string until my fingers threatened rebellion and then my sister came over and we did our grocery shopping. Not too exciting. At one point during the afternoon, while I was waiting for the washing machine to finish its spin cycle, I lay down in the backyard and looked up at the sky, through the leaves of the big old gum that's in the corner of my yard. Birds were hopping about feeding and fluttering from branch to branch, working out pecking orders it seemed. And the breeze teased the leaves, the branches creaked, the sky was an intense blue almost creating a silhouette, the grass smelt clean under the blanket, and I couldn't think of single place I would rather have been in that very moment. And then the desire to roll over and casually rest my arm across the stomach of a smiling caring man was palpable.

But instead I got up and hung out my laundry.